Pain and Tears
by DarkAngel555
Summary: FT Angst Week 2015 submissions. Posted on tumblr first. Current: Day 3: Broken (Promises/Hearted) - What do you do when someone is broken beyond repair?
1. Day 1: Scars-Bruises - Revelations

_DA: Hey! So, I realize that angst week has been over for like two weeks now and I've already submitted all of my fics on tumblr, but now, I felt like compiling them into one anthology so I don't lose them. I'll also post one of my other stories that's been posted before as a little extra of sorts… Plus, I had no idea where else to put it. But anyways, without any further ado, here's my first submission for angst week!_

Disclaimer: You all should be thrilled that I don't own Fairy Tail. You'll see why in later submissions….

 _Again, THESE WERE POSTED ON TUMBLR FIRST! Also, as a warning, there is implied rape in this fic._

* * *

 **Revelations**

 _FT Angst Week Day 1 – Scars/Bruises_

There was a thin, pale scar that ran up Lucy's right thigh.

It shone slightly if the light hit it just right and indented her otherwise flawless skin. It didn't follow a straight path, but rather it twisted and curved as if whatever had made it had intentionally done so. Lucy never mentioned it, nor did she offer any explanations when he asked, rather shrugging off his question with a hesitant smile.

And that frustrated the hell out of Natsu.

He wanted to know. No. He _needed_ to know. It travelled up high enough to vanish beneath the hem of her skirt, but whether it continued up even higher than that was a mystery. She never let him see her naked anymore, not even 'accidentally'. Had someone hurt her? If so, he needed to know who to aim his fist at. Nobody got away with hurting his Lucy. But again, she never gave answers. But there were clues.

Sometimes she woke up in the middle of the night, screaming. Her hands scrambled to get the blankets off her, her chest heaving and gasping. Whenever he tried to comfort her, she shoved him away, often times with a panicked scream. Now, when she had those nightmares, he left the bedroom to go sleep on the couch. Though, Lucy had a tendency to find him there later on and curl up next to him, whispering tearful apologies. He never really slept much on those nights.

Then there was her new habits. She flinched whenever he hugged her from behind, inhaling sharply as if to scream. His magic was regarded with fear, her brown eyes dark and wide in the flickering light of his flames. In fact, her eyes always had this hard, weary look to them these days, something she tried valiantly to hide. She was never quick enough. It hurt him to see her so worn down, so fearful. He wished she would tell him.

She never needed to tell him.

It came to him one day when they were lying in bed, the tip of his finger gently tracing the length of the scar. He knew its path without even having to look down at the nearly glowing mark on her leg. It was only when he reached the hem of her pajama shorts that she stiffened and shoved his hand away. But that's when he remembered it, what he had done. He remembered in vivid detail, about the blood spattered claw, about the brutal manner in which he had completely unraveled her very being.

He practically launched himself off the bed, eyes wide and his blood roaring in his ears. His chest heaved with the force of his breathing, staring at the now confused blond on the bed. She slowly stood, eyebrows furrowed, and reached towards him. He stumbled back, shaking his head, until his back met the door of her closet.

"Natsu?" she asked, frowning slightly.

"I-I…I did that…" he whispered, fingernails digging grooves into the wood as his hands curled. She froze, her eyes impossibly wide. "Oh-Oh god. I-I hurt you." She didn't say anything, brown eyes shattering as she watched him. He collapsed to his knees, pressing the heel of his hand against his forehead. Tears blurred his vision, dripping down the bridge of his nose.

She settled herself down next to him, still silent. He flinched, suddenly understanding her new quirks. Wrapping warm arms around him, she rested her cheek against the soft salmon locks of his hair. He wanted to force himself away, to run, but he couldn't, not when her touch was what he had been yearning for. "I'm sorry, Lucy. I'm so goddamned sorry." He continued rambling apologies to her, pressing his forehead against her collarbone. She still didn't speak, but let her arms tighten around him. "How can you even stand to be around me?" One of her hands lifted to run gentle fingers through his hair. "How can you forgive me?"

"I forgave you a long time ago," she murmured, pressing her lips to the crown of his head. "Because that wasn't you. I know who you are, Natsu, and that monster wasn't you."

"But I-" He lifted a hand and rested it on her thigh, cupping the pearlescent scar. She shook her head, lowering her own hand to grasp his own. "What if…?"

"It won't."

He fell silent, still uneasy. Fear writhed within his chest, his grip tightening on her. She might be certain, but he wasn't. Because he could still feel it. That sick pleasure that arose from the memory, the craving for her blood. The monster wasn't gone; it was merely hiding, waiting for its chance to strike once more. And that terrified him. But he was certain of one thing, now so more than ever with her scent surrounding him and her soft touch brushing against his skin.

He would die before letting the demon touch her again.

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 _DA: If I might say, this one was rather tame in comparison to my other submissions, though this was the fic that was the best received on tumblr. No apologies, at all. Anyway, I'll be posting a submission a day on here, though if you want to find all of them before then, my tumblr URL is thisisthee-n-d . tumblr . com (remove the spaces as normal)._

 _Leave a review if you liked it!_

 _May your hearts stay strong,_

 _DarkAngel555_


	2. Day 2: Monster-Demon - Resolve

_DA: Hello again! I hope you enjoyed the first submission because… *leans in closer to microphone and speaks with a gruff voice* it's only going to get worse from here. Well, not so much this one._

Disclaimer: Still don't own Fairy Tail.

 _DA: This one is Gray-centric, regarding his situation during the timeskip. I hope you enjoy! No warnings this time!_

* * *

 **Resolve**

 _FT Angst Week Day 2 – Monster/Demons_

Gray knew that he would do what he had to in order to protect the ones he loved, to destroy the being known as END.

Cry.

Bleed.

Die.

Even become a demon himself.

He felt that resolve when he trained, pushing his body to the absolute limit. He had merely shrugged upon noticing the black markings that had begun to creep up his arm, feeling a surge of power that accompanied them. Juvia had been concerned upon seeing them, her soft hands brushing over the strange tattoos. Upon feeling her gentle touch, he'd had the urge to suddenly attack her, to carve into her skin with his bare hands. He'd wanted to feel her blood coating his palms. He drew back, away from her. His hands shook, the hand dyed a deep onyx clenched into a tight fist.

He started going to see Porlyusica after that, his determination to see this through to the end wavering. His goals remained the same, to find and destroy the book of END, but not at the risk of destroying those he loved. If destroying a demon meant becoming a demon himself, he couldn't do it. Not if it meant he'd be steeping his hands in blood. END would be destroyed, but Gray would keep his humanity in the process.

Nobody would hurt his friends, not even himself.

When Erza contacted him about the Avatar job, he'd been thrilled. What better way to start tracking down the damned book than by joining another of Zeref's weird fanclubs? So he joined, allowing those marks he'd been so afraid of begin their trek up his body. They polluted his consciousness, filling his mind with sadistic ideas and dark thoughts. But he would hold out. He never doubted he'd be able to do this.

But then Natsu and Lucy showed up, in all of their ridiculous flair. Annoyance was his first emotion upon noticing their presence, then a belayed sense of astonishment. Natsu had been a powerhouse before the guild had broken up, but this new surge in strength was unbelievable. Gray knew he was no slouch, but he almost felt dwarfed in comparison to Natsu's power. And Lucy… He'd had to suppress that same urge that had overcome him when he'd been staying with Juvia, instead letting her hand slap him. It hurt that they couldn't trust him enough to know that he would never willingly join a dark guild.

Maybe that was why he'd taken his time making down to the dungeons after the confrontation. They'd ruined his plans, so they deserved to suffer a little for their crimes. At least, that's what he told himself. In reality, he'd waited outside their cell for a little while, just listening to the sounds of chaos emanating from within. The sadistic pleasure that began to whirl within him had snapped him out of his daze, the marks beginning to creep further across his face. So he'd stepped in, just in time.

For a while, everything was as it used to be. Team Natsu was reunited and was kicking ass as usual. Those contaminating marks didn't even tickle at his consciousness. He felt almost normal again. He was reassured that maybe he wouldn't have to destroy himself to fulfill his goals.

But then Natsu changed.

His world had turned on its end.

Gray stood, panting and bleeding, and stared at it, the demon he'd been searching for this entire time. Flames danced at its feet, flecking his heels as he strode forward. Claw marks littered the ice mage's body, his hair sizzling and scorched. He'd made the resolve to destroy the demon, to obliterate it in order to protect his friends. But as he stared into the scarlet irises that glowed within the twisted face of his best friend, he found his resolve shattering. Even though Lucy lay bleeding out behind him, her limbs splayed and tears trickling from her closed eyes. And Juvia was collapsed against the far wall, unmoving since her collision. But looking at what Natsu had become, he knew that there was only one way to get out of this.

And that was to become the demon that he so feared.

* * *

 _DA: I tend to go for END related fics a lot, but I suppose that's to be expected seeing as I've believed in this theory since its inception. I AM SO HAPPY ITS CANON NOW! You'll definitely see this in upcoming submissions. Again, this one was rather tame._

 _WARNING SPOILERS DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT UP TO DATE ON THE MANGA!_

 _OH MY GOD I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED IN THE MANGA! I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO PUNCH ZEREF IN THE GODDAMN NOSE OR HUG HIM! MAYBE BOTH! But I was literally heartbroken concerning how END came into existence. And I'm also thrilled with the idea that Zeref and Natsu are siblings. Ugh, I'm a mess of emotions._

 _But anyway… SAFE TO READ NOW! Lemme know what you guys thought of this submission. I'll be back tomorrow with the next one!_

 _May your hearts stay strong,_

 _DarkAngel555_


	3. Day 3: Broken - Tears in the Rain

_DA: Hey! I'm back again for the next submission. Again, to remind all of you, these were all originally posted, during the actual Angst Week event, on tumblr. But this one is where things definitely start getting interesting, though again, not my most painful. I believe that one is reserved for tomorrow. Heh heh. This one is related to Revelations, as in the events mentioned in Revelations are expanded upon more in this fic._

Disclaimer: Still don't own.

 _DA: Alright! I hope you all enjoy! Warning: This one has implied rape, just like in Revelations, though this one is a little more explicit about it, but barely so._

* * *

 **Tears in the Rain**

FT Angst Week Day 3: Broken (Promises/Hearted)

 _Lucy awoke to fingers trailing softly down her bared thigh, goosebumps pebbling along the meandering path. She smiled, burying the expression into the fluffy pillow under her head. Measured breaths puffed against the back of her neck, the hot bursts of air warming her entire body. The faint scent of campfire smoke drifted up from the cloth of the pillow, wrapping her with its comforting embrace. Another hand wriggled underneath the curve of her hip, curling around her waist with deliberate slowness. A giggle slipped past her lips, muffled by the pillow. He laughed in response, resting his forehead against the back of her head._

 _Suddenly, the hand tightened around her waist, digging into her soft flesh. She gasped, surprised by the sudden roughness. Pain burned down her thigh along the path of the searching fingers, warm blood slipping down the fair skin. Her eyes snapped open, whipping her head around to glare at the person with her. Demands died on her lips, her mouth frozen open._

 _Natsu grinned down at her, his fangs, now long and wickedly sharp, gleaming in the flickering candlelight. Onyx horns curved up through his thick pink spikes of hair, matching the dark arching tattoos that had encroached upon his tanned skin. The whites of his eyes were dyed black, glowing scarlet irises glinting with pleasure at the situation. His scarf was gone, the scar that crossed his neck appearing twisted and grotesque to match his new appearance. Around her waist was a scaled claw, the curved nails grazing her skin. Its twin was on her thigh, the tip of one claw stained crimson with her blood._

 _He flipped himself over to straddle her, her back now pressed against the bedding. He gripped her wrists, pulling them taut above her head. She wiggled against his grasp, the scaly fingers digging into her wrists. "…N-Natsu?" she stuttered, her voice cracking. His grin widened, leaning over to capture the lobe of her ear with his teeth._

" _Good morning, Luce," he breathed, tickling her ear with the soft brush of air._

Lucy shot awake, a piercing scream tearing from her throat. Scrambling to sit up, she curled around her knees, scrubbing at her burning eyes with a heavily bandaged hand. Heavy sobs tore through her, gasping and desperate even to her own ears. Golden hair fell like a curtain over her face, hiding it from view with uneven locks. Oh God, it _hurt_ ; it hurt so much. And she just wanted it to stop.

A hand rested on her shoulder, tightening with reassurance. She flinched away from the touch, swiping out towards its source with a blind fist. Her hand was ensnared in a firm grasp, a strong surge of fear sweeping through her. Tears streaming from wild brown eyes, she snarled blearily at her attacker, aiming another punch his way. This fist was intercepted as well. "Lucy! Lucy, calm down. It's me!" a familiar voice pleaded, even as she flung a foot in his general direction. Her heel collided with hard flesh, drawing a grunt from her attacker.

Suddenly she found herself flat against her bed, her hands pressed against her sides and a familiar weight settling on her thighs. Terror sent her into a frenzy, arching her back violently to force him from her. "Lucy, it's me!" Her legs kicked futilely against the bedspread, her head whipping back and forth. Screams burst from her lips, mixing with pleas for him to release her. Pain throbbed dully as she flailed, its sharp sting only making her more violent. More tears poured from her eyes that she had squeezed shut, cascading down her pale cheeks. "Lucy, you're hurting yourself. Just calm down!"

"Gray, that's enough. Let her go," another voice interjected, the higher pitched, but commanding tone stilling them both. Brown eyes flicking open, Lucy rolled her head over to stare at the newcomer. Erza stood at the door, scarlet tresses covering her artificial eye from view. Her arms were crossed over her armored chest, her lips tilted downwards in a disappointed scowl.

"…But…" Gray started, the mere sound of his voice reigniting Lucy's fear.

"Gray." Erza warned, her dark eyes hard. Gray sighed, but acquiesced, releasing Lucy from his grasp. Once he stepped back onto the floor, Lucy was able to breathe again, glancing at him from the corner of her eyes. He was a little battered, his normally unruly locks of black hair standing straight up after their struggle. But his eyes were hard, his lips tight with worry. Behind him, Erza nodded, pleased with his response. Her gaze shifted to Lucy, the sternness easing from her expression. "Good morning, Lucy. How are you feeling?"

Ignoring the little shiver that raced down her spine, Lucy smiled weakly at the redhead. "I"m alright," she answered hoarsely, her throat complaining at its previous abuse. Erza smiled in response, uncrossing her arms as she walked over to the bed.

"Good, that's good. I'm glad. Gray, don't you have anything to say to Lucy." Suddenly, her scowl was back, shooting a glare at her companion. Gray shifted nervously next to the knight, inching away from her line of fire. But his shoulders drooped, glancing quickly at the blond on the bed.

"I'm sorry…Lucy," he murmured, swallowing harshly.

"It's okay," she mumbled, her gaze skirting away from the ice mage. Erza sighed, her metal armor clinking together as she tapped a finger against her palm.

"Is there anything you need, Lucy?" Lucy shook her head. "Alright. I'll be returning to my post then. Call me if you need something." With one last stern glare at Gray, Erza strode out, her skirt swishing to accommodate her movements. Gray sighed, running rough fingers through his hair. Lucy risked a glance in his direction, tensing when she found his eyes trained on her.

"Are you sure you're alright, Lucy?" Gray questioned, his voice laced with concern. Staring at him for a moment, she looked down to her clenched hands on the bed. She didn't answer at first.

"I'll be better when we have Natsu back." The admission was nearly silent, her voice a breathy whisper. Gray's jaw clenched, turning to stare out the window.

"That… _demon_ …is not Natsu," he stated in a harsh hiss, his back stiff. Inhaling sharply, Lucy's gaze flew back to Gray in shock. Her breath caught as the image that haunted her dreams flashed quickly before her, one of curved horns and sharp, raking claws.

"He's still in there, Gray." He whirled around, dark eyes flinty with anger. A snarl lifted his lip, exposing clenched teeth. She drew back, nervous at his raw fury.

"Really? He's still in there?! Would Natsu actually hurt you?! Would Natsu leave you _naked and bloody_ for your damned friends to rescue?! Would Natsu be able to bring himself to _shatter_ you to fucking pieces for us to pick up and put back together the best we can?! No! He wouldn't! But that monster would, because that is not Natsu!" Lucy flinched, tears burning at her eyes. Her hands curled around the blankets, her ragged fingernails tearing at the fabric.

"He is, Gray. He's trapped! We just have to save him! Just like he would us!" she insisted, her own weak voice rising in her desperation.

"Natsu's gone, Lucy! The sooner you realize that, the easier this will be!"

"He's still in there, Gray!"

"No, he's not! He's gone. Destroyed by that fucking demon. And we'll have to destroy it!" Lucy's mouth froze open, her eyes widening. Gray held her gaze, breathing harshly. His eyebrows furrowed, a sharp scowl slashing across his features.

"What are you saying?" Her lips were numb, her words sounding hollow. Gray gritted his teeth, his hands curling into fists at his sides.

"I'm saying we have to kill him, Lucy! Before anything else happens, we have to end this."

"There has to be another option! We can save him!" Tears trickled down her cheeks, her brown eyes wide and desperate.

"No, we can't! Face the facts! END must be destroyed and I will do what I have to to protect my friends!" Lucy surged out of bed, flinging off the covers in her haste. With one fluid motion, she slapped Gray across the face. Her face flushed, she trained a watery glare at the ice mage. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but couldn't manage to make the words pass her lips. Shaking her head, she backed away from him and ran, thrusting the door out of her way.

As the door slipped shut once more, Gray's knees folded beneath him, his hands splayed against the wooden flooring. Tears flooded his eyes at the weight of his own words, spattering onto the floor by his hand. "I-I have to kill my best friend…" His voice was thick, heavy with grief.

FTFTFT

Lucy sat, perched on a rock, in the rain. Her blond hair was drenched, clumping together and sticking to her slick skin. Brown eyes gazed up at the clouded sky, the tears speckling her cheeks mingling with the rain. Not caring that her bandages were getting soaked, she glanced down at her lax hands on her lap. She stretched them open, watching the water trace the minuscule lines in her palms. The bruises that ensnared her wrists throbbed, hidden by her wrappings.

Footsteps squelched behind her but she didn't turn to look. What did it matter anyway? Letting her eyes slip shut, she tilted her head back up to face the sky. "How did you find me?" she asked quietly. Someone settled next to her on the rock, making no move to touch her.

"Juvia knows the rain," Juvia responded, her words meshed with contentment. Lucy sighed, her breath escaping in a fine mist. Her bangs were plastered to her forehead, the fair strands tracing its gentle curve. Shoulders relaxing, a faint grin fluttered across her lips.

"I see… Did anyone send you?" Juvia shook her head, her own vibrant hair beginning to darken with moisture. Her hat was missing, forgotten back at their little shack.

"No. Juvia just thought you might want a friend." Lucy's eyes flew open, snapping her gaze over to the water mage. Juvia stared at the puddles forming on the damp earth, watching the billowing circles caused by the raindrops. Water rolled from her clothing, enchanted to be waterproof. For a few moments, the soft patter of rain was all that could be heard. Lucy dropped her eyes back to her hands, her palms facing up as if to catch the droplets.

"Gray's wrong," Lucy whispered, tears dripping anew from her eyes. "He's still alive, I know he is. I felt him. He's struggling. But I won't give up on him. We can save him. I know we can…" Her trembling hands clenched into tight fists, water trickling out from her palms. "But Gray wants to…to end this now. I can't let that happen."

"It's too soon to give up."

Lucy wrapped her arms around Juvia suddenly, her body shaking violently as she pressed her head into the rain woman's shoulder. Sobbing, her fingers dug into the fabric of Juvia's jacket. "I can't lose him, Juvia! E-even after everything that's happened, after everything's he's done… I just can't." A warm cheek pressed against her soaked head, soft arms curving around her shoulders. Tears poured from her eyes, her mouth opening in a soundless cry of pain. "But I-I'm afraid…of him. I know it doesn't make any sense, but I'm scared. What happened, what he did, hurts so much and I just want that hurt to stop!"

"Juvia understands. Juvia's felt that same desperation when Gray vanished without a trace. But Juvia didn't give up and eventually found him. Maybe Natsu will return if you do the same." Her words were soft, the gentle hum of them relaxing. "Though Natsu is dense, so it may take a little more than just believing in him." A hysterical giggle bubbled up through Lucy's mouth, muffled into Juvia's shoulder. The water mage paused for a moment, rubbing the blond's shoulders. "It's okay to hurt, Lucy. Especially after what's happened."

Slowly, Lucy lifted her head, instead pressing her forehead against her companion's. Rain water rolled down both of their faces, dripping from their soaked hair. Her eyes were bloodshot, and tears still mixing with the water already on her features, but her brown irises had regained some of their life.

"Thank you, Juvia. Will you…help me?" Nodding, Juvia met Lucy's questioning gaze, her eyes etched with reassurance.

"Juvia will stand by you, Lucy." Another soft grin broke out across the blond's features.

"Thank you." A shiver shook her form, the cold just beginning to settle into her bones. Juvia smiled, picking her way out of the embrace and slipping out of her jacket in one swift movement. Draping the material over Lucy's trembling shoulders, she offered a hand to the celestial mage.

"Perhaps we should head back now. It wouldn't do for you to get a cold." Lucy took her hand, using it as leverage to haul herself off of the rock. The clouds broke as she stood, the sun shining through the forming cracks. Warmth engulfed the two girls, Lucy staring up at the sky, her mouth slack with shock. Taking a deep breath, she smiled, letting her eyes slip shut.

"Yea, let's go home."

* * *

 _DA: Wow, I write a lot about END… Especially regarding how his friends are going to deal with that information. Poor Lucy. She gets the worst of the pain throughout all of my submissions. I would write the statistics, but then I could be spoiling it so I won't._

 _Anyways, I'm exhausted, so I'm going to wrap things up here. Leave a review if you enjoyed it!_

 _May your hearts stay strong,_

 _DarkAngel555_


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